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Nov 06, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		:)
by: lucinda

i have a good idea someone should steal the fily because the vet did say that she was a good one didn't she?
Sep 04, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		This is CUTE!
by: Shine

This is so cute! thanks for starting such a wonderful story!
Jun 20, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Love it!
by: Anonymous

That's such a magical story! It's so sweet!
May 26, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		LOL! @Bec
by: Auther

LOL!! Well, I'm writing another story, right now, I was talking about in my story that your reading right now, some of the chapters stories are real! Lol! But if you want a lot more of the story, right now, you can e-mail me at horsequestions101@gmail, and just ask for some recent chapters! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMMENTING!!
May 24, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Ok
by: Bec

Ok I see so it's not true you said some are... where are they? I WANT TO READ THEM!!!! :) ;)
May 23, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		THanks!
by: Author

Oh yeah, check out my page under "your page" Horse-lovers page! Thanks!
May 23, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you!!
by: Auther of this story

@True&Unicorn: Thank you soooo much!!

@True: No, but some of the stories are!

@Unicorn: I really wanted to know what people thought I should change, and what they loved! I will try to put those different things in my story like you demonstrated!! Well, my story is kinda about all the horses, not just the filly, I will probably put some ?Action?, where something happens to one of the horses, but right now it's really about them all. (The next chapter will be more about Grace then the horses, just to let you get to know about her more) But thank you sooo much! I am still thinking about the story's name, but the next chapter I will just call it the same but say chapter 2...

@All: I was wondering if you though my first chapter was to long?
May 21, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Hi Destiny
by: Unicorn

Brilliant story! All round, it's good, very good. The plot is good, the characters stand out in my mind. I like the fact that even though her father has opposed her wishes for a horse, Grace harbors no grudge. I like the horses' characters too, and especially their names (Jameela is very nice).
I would like you to engage the senses a bit more - use all five the senses when you write. Touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. Taste is a tricky one, but it's fun to experiment with. If you engage the senses, it'll add a lot of power to the story. Coupled with interesting comparisons (similes and metaphors), sensory descriptions can turn a story inside out.
For example, consider the following two passages:
"Jameela trotted over to me."
And:
"Jameela moved towards me in her flowing trot, the wind brushing her mane with tender fingers [touch image]. Her hooves beat a quiet tango on the summer grass [hearing image], muscles sliding like ripples on a pool of quicksilver [visual image and simile]." Much more powerful, isn't it?
You have a very strong story here. Many of the story elements are in place, you've grabbed my attention, and I love the characters. Please, pretty please, write on! And have fun.
Unicorn
P. S. This might have already been used, but the Arabian horses' origin has so much influence on the story, why don't you name it "Arabian Dreams"? Or "Arabian Princess" if the story is about Atiff's foal?
May 20, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		True
by: Bec

Is that a true story? Wow,amazing true or not!!!!:)

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