Comments for Sundancer and the rest - Part 3 PLEASE COMMENT!!!!

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Apr 12, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Lovely!
by: Shine

I just love your detail! And your characters! They are so cool! And interesting! Please continue, please,please,please! Oh please excuse me, I think I'm going nuts!
Apr 06, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Your story
by: Unicorn

It gets better with every part! Each horse has its own character, and you give us a peek into it as they climb out of the trailer. You're really fleshing out the detail now - I love the way you don't just go "The wind was blowing", you show how Charlie struggles with the papers. You show, don't tell, which is great.

One point - a few typos (you said "dirty" and "drift" when you meant "dirt), which isn't a bit issue, and also, you might want to stop referring to Charlie Graham and David Gregory by their full names. We know what they're called; it's already part three. Decide on what you're going to call them (you could call her Charlie or Mrs. Graham, for example) and stick to it.

The story is brilliant. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Keep writing!
Apr 06, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Good story
by: Anonymous

Next part!!!!

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