Summer Camp Mystery - Part 7

by Kaitlyn

When Slash ran, nothing else mattered. When I was with him I knew I would be okay. When he flicked up his heels and ran off toward the other horses I saw nothing but pure freedom.

As the summer came toward an end I knew that I would be okay. Sure I would miss my new friend Mia, and sure I would miss teaching lessons. But I knew in my heart that I would be just fine.

I was just walking Slash around the drive way when Mrs. Rocko came outside. "You came a long way with him Kaitlyn," she smiled. "And same to yourself," she added. I knew she was just being kind but I took some offense to it.

"Thank you Mrs. Rocko. I sure did," I replied. She gave me a sly smile that I recognized all to well before she walked off. I watched as she went and sat on the fence staring out at the horses in the field. Looking at her I could tell that she wasn't right here. She was somewhere else. Sure I could see her on the fence. But her eyes said she was somewhere else. And where ever she went, I to wanted to go someday.

I looked down on my sheet of paper, it said that Maggie was going to be in my next lesson. But not only Maggie, but another girl. Another girl named Carol. Hmm I thought, this should be interesting. I walked into the barn and found Maggie and a girl who I was guessing was Carol sitting on the opposite side of the same bench.

"Well hello girls! Today's going to be fun!" I told them happily. "Ok Carol?" I said pointing toward the girl who looked about 11 with her fiery red hair that curled around her face. She nodded. "You will be riding..." I took a moment to look down at my sheet..."Big Red!"

She stared at me and I suddenly noticed she probably didn't know what to do. "Oh my bad. Follow me Carol," I said to her feeling embarrassed. I grabbed the brush box and Big Red's tack. "Maggie your riding Trixie! You can do it by yourself, right?" I heard her said 'I sure can' and walked off to help Carol.

In the ring, I could tell Maggie was getting frustrated. Not with Trixie but with Carol. Carol clearly had no clue about how to ride a horse. But as I told Maggie many times that I had to help both of them. I understood why it wasn't fair, I mean why put a beginner with a girl who has been riding for years? I was just explaining how to post when Mia walked outside. "Mia!" I yelled. She jogged toward me and hopped the fence.

"Ya Kaitlyn? Whats up?" she said her hair flowing wildly in the wind.

"Um Mia, would you mind taking Maggie out into the fields?"I asked her quietly. She looks over at Maggie, then at Carol. Her eyes fill with delight.

"Omygosh that's sooo funny!" she giggles. "And sure I can! Come on Maggie! Were going in the field!" She hoots. Mia, Mia,Mia she certainly doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. I wish I had a little bit of the quality to.

I woke up the next morning full of excitement. Today I was 13 years old. It was my birthday! Then I groaned, I also had to work on my birthday. I heaved myself out of bed and started brushing my hair. I took the brush through my brown hair, it was starting to get a little long I would have to cut it again soon. Then I headed downstairs ready for what was ahead.

I finally arrived at the stables. Turns out my parents weren't home, on my birthday. So I had to walk 2 km to get to the stables. "Thanks a lot. What a wonderful birthday!" I mumble as I walked into the clubhouse. It was empty, not a soul to be found. I grabbed a glass of water and looked out of the window. To think of it now the whole place looked deserted. Hmmmm? I walked out into the drive way. No one. I walked into the first barn. No one again. After searching the hay loft, the indoor arena and the shelter I finally headed toward Slash's barn. I unlatched the door and then a whole room full of hoots and hollers hit me.

"Happy Birthday Kaitlyn!" everyone cheered in unison. I smiled when I seen my parents. That's why they weren't home. I looked around the barn which was decorated in purple and blue my two favorite colors. Some of the horses even had on little birthday hats.

"Thanks," I said feeling shy. I never enjoyed surprises. And I certainly didn't like being the center of attention for to long. I looked out to see Mia, Mrs. Rocko, Ann who is another instructor, and of course the camp counselors. Not to forget Maggie and Carol. Also standing beside Mia was her boyfriend Max.

"Oh Kaitlyn you deserve it!" My mother gushed. I smiled.

"Now for your present!" My dad exclaimed. I seen him nod to Mia and she walked around the corner. What was it this year? A new riding helmet? A new saddle? What? But what I seen Mia walking around the corner with I knew this was far better!

It was Slash. She was walking with Slash. He had a dark blue ribbon around his neck hanging loosely. His palomino coat shined, and he held his head high. "He's mine?" I asked.

"All yours" my parents replied. I ran up to him and hugged him. Finally he was mine. He was all mine. Just then I noticed that he was all I ever wanted anyway.
*************************************

Please comment! I'm thinking there's going to be one more story after this:]

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May 17, 2011
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Hey Unicorn!
by: Kaitlyn

Oh my gosh!!! Thanks Unicorn you just gave me a great idea for what to do with Maggie.

At first I maybe wanted her to be angry that Carol was in her lesson. (Which she is) And I wanted to go on from there. I had many ideas, like maybe Maggie riding alone and Trixie taking off with her. But It didn't seem to fit! But you gave me a great idea! Thanks:]

May 13, 2011
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Hi Kaitlyn
by: Unicorn

Wow. Wow. Wow. This is such a GREAT read! Thank you for sharing! I love Slash's ending!
Since there is going to be a part 8, I would just like to make a suggestion for it. Give Maggie an ending as spectacular as Slash, Mrs. Rocko and Kaitlyn's. Or else, cut Maggie out of the entire story. Perhaps Maggie begins to teach Carol and realizes that she's always wanted to be a riding instructor. Give her a satisfactory ending, too. But I think you have something up your sleeve in that respect... :)
Please write again soon. This has been a great ride.
Keep writing!
Unicorn
writer of:
"More than a Myth" Intro, Part I, Part II

May 10, 2011
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Hey Morgyn!
by: Kaitlyn

I really worked hard on this story, so I'm glad you like it Morgyn!:] also yes there is going to be a part 8. Then after that there is going to be a sequel. I'm not quite sure whats going to happen in the sequel yet...but i hope it will be good also. :]

May 09, 2011
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Simply great!
by: Shine

Kaitlyn, you are doing an amazing job! This awesome, splendid, amazing,_______, someone, fill in the blank for me! This is really GOOD!

May 09, 2011
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Ohmygod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by: Morgyn

Oh My God!!!! This is so brilliant!!!! So, is there any more in this like is there a part 8 or is there going to be another book???!!!??? I sure hope there is!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxo xxx

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Summer Camp Mystery - Part 6

by Kaitlyn

My mother's beat-up old truck hits yet another pothole driving up the road toward the barn. I stare out the window my eyes focused as we passed by a sign stating the barns logo, "If they can't learn the way we teach, they we will teach the way they learn."

The sign was faded, and the words barely visible but I still found myself staring at it everyday. "You would think with all the money this farm gets they would use a bit of it to fix these annoying pot holes," my mother mumbles. I laugh to myself, its the same thing everyday. Finally we round the corner and the barn is visible. As we get closer I see that Mia is leading Slash toward the club house. From that moment on I knew that nothing at the farm would ever be the same.

Mia's smile quickly disappears as I reach her. "This fella over here decided it would be fun to have a little run across the drive," she says with a hint of anger in her voice. I wince.

"Well at least he maybe got out all that energy that would give us a hard time," I say to her trying to be positive.

"While I was putting on his bridle," she adds hastily. The anger in her voice now noticeable. Then she adds, "And he kicked his leg into my hip to get me out of the way so he could do it!" She lifts up her t-shirt to show me the bruise.

"Oh, well Slash can be pretty persistent," I say to her. She studies her bruise for another second then meets my eye.

"This horse is going to be loads of work, you get that? And he ain't going to be easy either. Not with the way hes is now. He's seriously to proud to let me or you help him," she says quickly.

"I see that." She holds my eye for another minute and then gazes into the distance.

"Now what I think we should I think we should lunge him, and then he will have to submit. He needs to know we are the boss not him!" she says surely. She spins around on her heel and walks happily toward the arena.

"Get up!" Mia hollers showing me how to gain control. I stand there meekly, unsure of myself looking at Mia. She knows so much more than me I thought to myself. "Come on get up!" she yells again. Slash trying to be a know-it-all slowly walked over and circles Mia. She takes the line and shoots it at his rear end. I notice that Mia never once actually hit him. She gets Slash to pick up a nice easy trot and lets out only a few bucks. I giggle, watching him, head held high refusing to submit. After about 30 minutes Slash still didn't submit. Sweat coated his back,and I could tell Mia was tiring.

"Better stop now, he looks like he is going to burst a lung!" I yell over Slash's thundering hooves.

"No!" Mia screams. "He needs to submit! If he doesn't then he knows he won. If that happens its going to be ten times hard for us tomorrow," she says her voice determined. I sit back quietly, Mia was lunging him and all I was doing was sitting around. Just then I hear footsteps. I turn around to see Mrs. Rocko standing there looking at Mia. Then she sees me and walks over quickly.

"Its your punishment to care and train Slash, not Mia's!" she snaps. Here we go again, I thought.

"Mia wanted to help she is showing me how to properly train him," I say sheepishly. I notice that Mia is now watching us expectantly. Mrs. Rocko snorts.

"Mia knows no more than you do about training this horse!"

"Excuse me I think I kind of do!" Mia says her voice tight, even thought I can tell shes angry by the way her face flushed red I still know that she won't mouth off to Mrs. Rocko.

"Ah my darling Mia. So determined, but wrong. I understand you trained Leroy yourself. But he is a different horse than Slash here. Leroy was calm and understanding. And you also immediately started training when he was just a tiny colt. His shire was also a strong calm horse," Mrs. Rocko continued.

"But Slash here. He's different. We don't know what happened to him," Mrs. Rocko's voice was filling with rage. She was now gently tapping her crop against her boot, then she walked into the arena and snatched the line from her. She turned to me and held it out, "For you," she says.

I silently take a dandy brush and to a quick once over on Slash's coat. I had to wash him, because of all the sweat. After about 5 minutes after Mrs. Rocko came he finally submitted. It took a little while but he eventually submitted.

I said bye to Slash and walked out toward the other barn. I stopped at Leroy's stall. I looked in, and the friendly gelding popped him head out and let me pet him. His chestnut coat gleamed, I assumed Mia had been in here earlier. I ran my hand over the snip on his face and laughed. "Well you certainly aren't Slash," I giggled. "But..."I added "Maybe that's a good thing."

Slash was extremely hard to catch the next morning. I was rushing getting all his grains in because even though I had him to care for I still had to do lessons. 15 minutes later I was out in the ring with Maggie. It was the first time I had seen her since the day she ran away. Since then she has been riding Trixie, and their was a new sparkle in her eye. After warming up, I walked over and unlatched the gate.

"Ready to go on a trail?" I ask. I knew Maggie hated the idea of competitive riding, but sadly her mother pushed her toward it. Today I was planning on letting her ride Trixie bareback, try to get the feel of it. A more relaxed way of riding, as my father put it. When I was younger he tried getting me into western riding. I did and can ride both ways now. I always found western way more comfortable. But even I knew as I leased horses at Open Range that my true calling was English.

"Sure!" she gushed. So I moved out of the way and she cantered into the field.

"Okay boy we are going to try something different today!" I say trying to be calm. My insides were full of knots, I wasn't sure if I could do this. I led Slash over to the side as I fixed the stirrups.

Slash seemed excited, but with him you could never be sure. Its been a week now and I knew sooner or later I would have to get on. It was already mid-July and I couldn't waste any time. I suddenly remember the last time I was on Slash. At that time he had not been Slash, he was just another horse. But now, today the present I knew it was time. It was time to show everyone what he was made of, what we were made of.
***************************************

Please comment for part 7! I never got any comments for part 5! So pls comment <3

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May 02, 2011
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Hey guys
by: Kaitlyn

Hey,

Thank you for commenting! I have been waiting for comments since this came out on the site! And Jess I have been really working hard on trying to add lots of description! Many people have told me that I need more description. I will try adding more. Oh and I will definitely write more Dreamer!:)

Also Morgyn, thanks for telling me about the present tense/past tense. I always have trouble with that!:( I am going to work really hard on fixing that! Also please check out my other stories Dreamer(The One and Only) as well as Nothing Short Of a Cowgirl!

xoxo

Apr 30, 2011
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Hi Kaitlyn!!!
by: Morgyn

Sorry I haven't commented in a while!!! I absolutely LOVE your story line!!! Although, I did happen to see a few present/past phrase mistakes. Like I added; It should be I add. I hope I don't sound rude or mean!!! I hate to be rude or mean! Anyway, PLEASE write part 7 soon!!!

PS Plz check out my latest series/stories: Pony Whisperer!!! xoxo xxx

Apr 28, 2011
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More more more
by: Jess

You HAVE to write more! esp. Dreamer!
You're stories are so awesome!

Here are some tips+
A little bit more setting
Maybe a little bit more description

But, your stories are already awesome !!!!

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Summer Camp Mystery - Part 5

by Kaitlyn

"Now remember you rise and fall with the leg on the wall," I say to Corey a 7-year old who has just started coming here this summer. I watch carefully as he switches his diagonal. "That's it, good job!" I say happy for him.

After a little more time making sure everything is correct, my eyes start to wander to the horse he's riding. Her name is Coco, she's a dapple grey filly, and she seems to love kids. I think back to when everyone started training her. She was uncontrollable, constantly kicking and bucking. No one thought she would have came this far. But she did. My mind kept wandering to Slash, the beautiful palomino. I would like to think too, that he will come just as far.

"So how's that horse of yours coming?" Mia asks. We're all sitting here, and by all I mean all the riding instructors are now all sitting in the hay loft for our lunch break. I blush, "He's not mine, I uh am just going to train him so people can ride him," I say unsure of myself. Mia nods, but doesn't answer.

I look around the circle were eating in, we're all very different people, with only one thing in common. Horses. I stare at Mia, she has chocolate brown eyes, and strawberry-blond hair flying all around her face. The very first time I seen her I thought she was here by mistake, and it wasn't my fault either. I offered to give her instructions on how to get to the mall. I mean with her carefully-painted nails and designer clothes she didn't look like she fit in. But looking at her now, with horse hair scattered all over her jeans she looks exactly like us.

Clomp, clomp,clomp. Slash's hoofs were hitting the ground on our way to the training arena. My plan was to lunge him and go from there. I stopped staring at him for a moment. "You're a good boy, aren't you?" I murmur. I continue on walking until I reach the pen. "Okay boy, we're going to do something nice and easy today, okay?"

I extend the lunge line and cluck him forward. "That's it," I say. I let him walk around for a few minutes before asking him to trot. "Trot," I say firmly to see is he responds to voice commands. He obeyed and started a smooth trot. "Good boy!" I exclaim.

Then out of the blue one of the barn cats runs from under the fence into the arena. Slash pulls on the rope and starts bucking wildly. I couldn't get the lunge line off of my hand. "Whoa boy, it's okay!" I scream over the noise. I knew he couldn't go anywhere, but my insides were screaming with terror. I was yanking the line off of my hand. Then I hear the gate to the arena open.

"Hey, cut it out...NOW!" I hear someone yell.

"No need for that," the person says softer now. I feel the line go limp, and I immediately know its over.

My eyes flutter open to the feel of something cold. "Huh what?" I mumble unable to get my voice to work right.

"Its just an ice pack. It seems like I'm getting you a lot of these these days." As soon as I heard the sarcastic tone I knew who it was. Mia, the advanced kids trainer.

"Very funny!" I snap sitting up. I look all around me. I see were sitting under a big pine tree. I could tell that it was one of ours but It was farther out in the property.

"No need to get snappy." Mia says "I seen what happened. And don't worry I put Slash away," she adds.

"Thanks," I mumble " So you were the one who saved me eh?"

"I didn't save you. I helped you." she replied.

"Its more like save." I sign, if anyone it had to be Mia. Mia was the one who seen that I can't handle Slash.

"That horse is gonna be a whole lot of work. I can tell ya that!" She nods her blond curls bobbing under her western hat.

"Tell me something that I don't already know," I say looking off into the distance.

"Horses spook Kaitlyn! They always have always will. It ain't your fault," she says kindly.

"Don't give me your sympathy. You know what spooked Slash? Eh? A cat. A dumb old barn cat spooked him! That's what!" I eyed Mia, but her expression remained the same.

"You didn't think it would be easy did you?" she said.

"What wouldn't be easy?" I ask confused.

"Training that horse? You didn't think It was gonna be easy? Did ya?" she asks again.

"Well..." I stop. I guess I did think it was going to be easy. Looking at him, and Mrs. Rocko being so sure. "Yes I actually did think it would be easy," I told her. She smiled. And with that we got up and walked away.

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May 02, 2011
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Hey Unicorn!
by: Kaitlyn

Thank you, I have really been trying to add more detail and make my characters personalities show more! Yes in my first story there was a girl named Maggie! Her problem was fixed in Summer Camp Mystery part 2. *Maggie also was in Summer Camp Mystery PART 5.* Maggie I am thinking is going to play a big role in the next few stories!

And I am going to read your story More Than A Myth!

Apr 29, 2011
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Hi Kaitlyn
by: Unicorn

You're really getting into your characters' heads now, and I like it! I'm glad you let your narrator make a mistake. That way, she'll learn and grow, and make for a more satisfying story.
Only, what happened to Maggie? Wasn't there originally a rather traumatized girl named Maggie at the summer camp? She appears to have disappeared. Tell me if that plot point was resolved and I just had an attention lapse... or maybe I'm yacking on about someone else's story. Sorry, I'm slow on the uptake today :)
Please write on!

Unicorn
writer of:
"More than a Myth" Intro, Part I and Part II

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Summer Camp Mystery - Part 4

by Kaitlyn

I stare after her as she walks out of her office. Am I suppose to follow her? Or am I to stay here? Well whatever she wants me to do certainly does not involve anything in here. I get up and speed walk out the door. Its a very humid July afternoon,and it would be a great day for some trails.

I see Mrs. Rocko standing in the middle of the drive looking out. I walk up beside her and follow her gaze. At first I see nothing out of the ordinary, a simple horse trailer. Then I read the printing on the side. The paint was fading, and you could barley read what it says. But once I looked close enough I seen the words Clover Fields-Barn For Neglected Animals.

My mouth opens wide. I have heard of the name before, I knew what the place was for to. When my mom was driving past the lake I seen it. I remember looking at those poor horses in the fields. Some had cuts, and you could see their rib cages. Others worse. I always dreaded passing by there. Sometimes I thought our horses had it bad working hard for lessons. But not nearly when your comparing. "This my darling Kaitlyn is your punishment." Mrs. Rocko said coldy.

"This is my punishment?"I ask confused.

"Yes. I was at Clover Fields one afternoon, and I seen this beautiful horse. He looked like he had potential. So I used the money we got when we sold Raseberry and used it on him!" she said excitedly.

"Uhh are you sure? Is he trained?" I say not understanding.

"Well we like to think he was. But he lost trust in people completely. Its a shame. A real beauty," she said sadly. I studied her face. Mrs. Rocko seemed cold as ice, but she really did have a soft spot for horses. Looking at her I should tell she was holding back tears.

"Well let's see him!" I say trying to sound sure of myself.

"Take him out men!" Mrs. Rocko hollered. Then I seen what she was talking about.

The men struggled getting the horse out of the truck. Well not getting him out of the truck but struggling getting him to walk forward as soon as he got outside. I stared in amazement watching the horse. He was beautiful. His palomino coat shined in the sun,and his eyes were gentle and warm. His mane was long and perfect in every way. He had great conformation too. But even from the spot I was standing I could see the cuts he had all over his back. I winced as I watched him struggle. He refused to walk forward. I heard one of the men yell "Val are you sure you want this crazy horse?"

"I'm sure Hank! He will be perfect," Mrs.Rocko responded sounding so sure of herself. I wish I could be that sure I thought looking at Mrs. Rocko. But I can't. Even I knew looking at the horse first hand that hes going to be a lot of work.

"Mrs.Rocko are you sure?"I ask quietly.

"Sure about what Kaitlyn?" she says to me.

"You know about the horse?" I said feeling desperate. Mrs. Rocko looked at him then me. "I'm more than sure!" She says looking proud. I considered my answer carefully. After we got him in the barn the two men had left and its just us.

"Can anyone ride him?" I say expecting the answer to be no.

"Well there's only one way to find out," she told me with a smile. Then she unlatched the door of the stall and led him out. She tied the line on one of the bars and walked to his side.

"You're not getting on him, are you?" I say alarmed. I hear her laugh.

"Of course not. You're going to!" she laughs some more.

"Me? No way!" I say. I rub my hands on my jeans, feeling a little more than uncomfortable.

"Get over here," she says. I sigh. No point getting her angry at me again! So I walk around the other side. Mrs. Rocko gives me a leg up and I'm on. I wiggle around a bit at first then I relax.

"Maybe this isn't that bad," I sign letting out a breathe of air I never knew I had been holding.Just then the horse starts neighing violently.

"Easy boy. Its ok." I say staying calm. Its not like horses haven't done this before.

"That's it just talk to him," Mrs. Rocko says.

"Ok I will," I reply. "Good boy," I say reaching down to pat his neck. I feel his whole body tense. He side steps, and the lead line falls out of Mrs. Rocko's hands. Sitting on him I knew exactly what he was going to do. He was going to throw me. With in seconds of that thought, I found myself soaring through that air, and then hitting something hard.

"Kaitlyn are you ok? I'm sorry I dropped the line," Mrs. Rocko's voice was worried. I opened me eyes. I tried focusing but I could still see eight of her.

"Im... im.. ok," I manage to say. My voice sounded hoarse and broken.

"I sent Mia to the clubhouse to get an ice pack for your head," Mrs. Rocko says standing up. I reach to my throbbing head.

"What was Mia doing in this barn?" I ask "I though she had lessons to do," I questioned slowly standing up.

"Her lesson got canceled. The kid she was going to be teaching was going to ride Go Get Em' Girl but sadly Mia seen that she was lame."

"Oh I see," I say getting up. I look at the horse still in the crossties. "I think my head hit a pitchfork," I complain.

"You will survive," Mrs. Rocko said getting back to business. Then the idea came into my head.

"Mrs. Rocko I just thought of the perfect name for him," I say eying him cautiously.

"Ok what?" she says checking her watch.

"Slash!" I say firmly.

"Slash? Now why that name?" Mrs. Rocko said looked confused.

"That name because I got slashed into those pitchforks!" I say proudly.

"Well are you sure Kaitlyn?" Mrs. Rocko questioned

"Yes." And this time I knew I meant it.
********************************************

Sorry it took so long for me to write this story. I wrote it a few days ago but it did not seem right. I hope you enjoy it!~Also check out my other stories "Dreamer-the one and only" as well as "Nothing Short Of a cowgirl"

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Apr 19, 2011
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Authors note:
by: Kaitlyn

Check out my new stories: The Wild Horse and Lead The way!

Apr 15, 2011
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Authors note:
by: Kaitlyn

Hey Angel, I just wanted to tell you yes there will be a part 5! Its going to be very exiting! And thanks, I loved the name Slash also. At first I was going to name him Trash! But then I decided against it.

Also about my other stories:
ANYONE WHO READS *NOTHING SHORT OF A COWGIRL*

I was just writing part 3 of that series. I was going to correct a spelling error and I clicked delete and it deleted it all! Just I still clicked submit so! :)

Apr 15, 2011
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Cool!
by: Angel

Wow! Ive enjoyed reading this story and I was wondering if you was gonna write part 5? I'm really liking this story and want to find out what happens with Slash! <<< Loving the Name! Its Perfect! :) xx

Apr 15, 2011
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Author's note:
by: Kaitlyn

Thanks for commenting so soon! That's probably the first time I have gotten comments within a day! And I will check out your stories Doree! They sounds really interesting:) Also Shine I'm glad you liked my stories! And thanks I really am working hard to put more detail in my characters. Read part 5 soon because big things are happening for Kaitlyn! And Anonymous I am sorry If I aggravate you by writing *seen* instead of *see*. But in my mind I just type like that and that's the way it comes out!

Apr 14, 2011
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Wow!
by: SHine

Kaitlyn, you are good!!!! Your stories come alive! Your detail is so real and I absolutely love your characters. Please continue!

Apr 14, 2011
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Great!
by: Anonymous

I think it is wonderful! one problem whenever they say see or saw you type seen. it's kind of aggravating. Could you try to fix that?

Apr 14, 2011
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Good work!
by: Doree

This is a great story!! Part 5 please!! Also please check out my stories, Sundancer and the rest, The heart of a champion (Changed from Henry) and A story from a horse's heart Please check them out and comment!!!! Again very good work on the story!!!!

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Summer Camp Mystery - Part 1

by Kaitlyn

" Kaitlyn, falling asleep on the hay bails again?"

My eyes snap open, "Huh what", I look around and see where I am. "Ummm... I guess so", I mumble.

"Kaitlyn you are supposed to be helping the beginner riders!" She said her voice calm and cool.

"I know, and I have been! I just was getting hay for Tucker and I guess..." I got cut off by Mrs. Rocko's sharp voice.

"I understand Kaitlyn, but you have been working a week and this is the third time! What am I suppose to tell the parents? I thought you could handle the beginner summer camp lessons, but I guess..."

"I can Mrs. Rocko! Trust me, I really can." I cant have her take away my job. I thought to myself. I have been going here a year and I really want my own horse. I have to keep this job! " I can, Im going now!" Mrs. Rocko stares at me as I start climbing down the ladder, but just before I get down I think... just maybe I see a smile spread across her face.

"Remember to keep your heels down!" I say to the little girl for the fifth time. "That's it, now when your ready I want you to ask your horse to trot." I stand in the center of the ring watching as she jabs her heels into the horse consistently.

I laugh to myself, the horse she's riding is named Timber, he's a 5 year old quarter horse. But he was mainly trained to listen for people's commands. As for his sides, not so much. I walk up to her "Remember to use your voice, horses love to hear your voice" I say.

"Well what do I say to Timber?" she says timidly.

"You can say trot, if you want. But I would cluck at him." My mind wanders as I remember my first riding camp. I had no clue what she meant when she told me to cluck at the horse when I wanted to walk! And now here I am teaching it. I look up to see the little girl looking at me eyes wide.

"Sorry what was that?" I say embarrassed I didn't listen.

"I don't know how to cluck," she whines.

"Like this," I say as the horse starts moving forward. "Now trot!" I say. After I see that she cant get him to trot I walk up to her and grab the bridle and start jogging beside him. Soon he got what he was suppose to do and off she went.

"I don't think its fair that the councilors sit in that air conditioned club house all day while were stuck eating out here!" Mia huffs. I laugh, Mia is also a instructor. But for the advanced riders. She 15 and very nice.

I look around at the other girls. I suddenly feel really embarrassed. I'm the youngest one here, of course there's Ali, who also teaches the beginner lessons with me. But even shes older, Im only 12 while most of these girls are 15 or older.

"How were your morning lessons Kaitlyn?" Mia asked me.

"Good, I think I need to work on helping them get their command voices!"I say " Some still don't understand horses aren't cars, their animals and they may not do whatever they want." I add.

"Ya I still deal with that sometimes. I hate it when they start to whine!" She shrieks with laughter.

"Nice," I mumble. I feel really out of place sometimes. These girls have been riding years, their all advanced, all except me!


I walk happily to the barn, petting one of the cats on my way there. I open the door, and a huge horse on the cross ties neighs. "Well hi to you to," I say petting his neck as I skip by. I turn the corner to where the club horses are, going to go help my next student tack up.

"Hey Maggie!" i say. She quickly jumps off the bench she was sitting on. " Sorry If I scared you!" I say.

"No, no I'm good," she say quietly.

"Well today your riding Trixie, I don't think you have been on her in a while," I smile. I know Maggie used to love Trixie, but lately she hasn't showed interest.

" Uhhh.. o..OK!" She mumble. I look at her as she goes and grabs the brushes.

"Everything ok?" I ask. Suddenly she stops. Right in the middle of the barn. Her eyes fills with tear as she starts to cry. "What's wrong?" I say rushing over to her.

"I can't ride her," she whispers.

"Why not?" I say. Not understanding, I'm clearly out of tune with who's favorite.

"I.. I just cant!" She yell running out the door. I watch as she disappears down the drive way and around the corner.

Comments for Summer Camp Mystery - Part 1

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Apr 15, 2011
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Authors note:
by: Kaitlyn

Hey Angel!!! I just received all of the comments on Summer Camp Mystery Part 4 3 and now 1! I'm really glad you enjoyed this! And I am going right now to look at your story hun! :) I will comment too!

Apr 15, 2011
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Great story!
by: Angel

Hey,

i'm liking your story its good! Pretty interesting I cant wait to find out why that young girl started crying when she had to ride trix. I so im gonna read part 2! Ive also posted a story on this sight its called starlight mount pony club I haven't got any comments yet so I was hoping maybe you could read it and see what you think im gonna post part 2 as well! But if you do decide to read it I hope you will enjoy it!

P.S you might have to click on the whats new icon at the top left hand corner :p

keep the good work up! Xx

Mar 28, 2011
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Thanks Lauren and Morgyn!
by: Kaitlyn

Thanks for the comments guys! :) I really am glad you like them! Also Lauren this is not a true story, its fiction but I am 12 also:) And *Summer Camp Mystery-Part 2* is out already! I wrote it weeks ago... please comment on that one also. It explains so much!

And Morgyn I'm so happy you loved my story as much as I loved writing it! And go ahead and write it, that's fine with me. Also please comment on *Summer Camp Mystery-Part 2* I really want to hear what you guys think.

Also check out Dreamer-The one and only-part2!

Thanks

Mar 27, 2011
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Great Story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by: Morgyn

Hi Morgyn from Free Hearts here. LOVE your story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I can't WAIT to read part 2!!!!!!!!!! Also, do you mind if I jot this down for my English class??????? It's OK if you DO mind, but I think it will get me a VERY good grade in English class.

Mar 26, 2011
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Great Story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by: Morgyn

Hi Kaitlyn it's Morgyn from Free Hearts. I LOVE this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It draws you in like, like.... Oh, I don't know but I think you get the point! This is such a great story!!!!!!!! You know what you should get it published!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :):):):):):):):):):):):)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mar 25, 2011
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well done
by: Lauren

a good story!! Just a question, but is this story true? I'm 12 too. I'm writing the Dream Delilah series.

Mar 22, 2011
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Hey Unicorn!
by: Kaitlyn

Thanks for the comment! I am going to write part three as soon as I get comments on part 2! I hope you like part two also!

:) Thanks

Mar 17, 2011
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Hi Kaitlyn
by: Unicorn

It's a pleasure to be of some assistance. Can't wait to read Part 2 and Part 3! And don't worry if the first two parts have less detail than the rest of it - you can always go back and add more when you've finished the story.

Keep writing!

Mar 16, 2011
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Thanks for commenting!
by: Kaitlyn

First thank you so much for the comments! :) I really like to hear what you guys think of the story! So thank you lots. Also I read my story again and realized that you are right. I need to add more detail.

As for the past and present tenses, I will try to correct them in my third story.

Just to let you know, I wrote part 2 yesterday before I got some of your comments. So for part 3 I will for sure add more detail, and try to make it easier to understand! Thanks :)

Mar 15, 2011
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Thanks guys
by: Kaitlyn

Thanks for commenting! I'm glad to hear you guys liked it... and thanks for telling me about my spelling! I really need to watch that. And yes I do want to be an author when I'm older. :)

Mar 15, 2011
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Excellent!
by: Unicorn

Hi Kaitlyn

I love this story! The sympathetic portrayal of Kaitlyn and Maggie really draws the reader into the story. You don't do info dumps by dropping all the background information right on the reader's head in one go, instead doling it out nicely, well done. I can't wait for the next part and an explanation to Maggie's confusing behavior.

One or two suggestions: I'd like to see a little bit more description, but not much. Perhaps Kaitlyn notices that Maggie's eyes seem a little red, or perhaps Timber sighs patiently as the beginner tries in vain to get him to trot. What color is Timber? What color is Trixie? How old is Maggie? Just a little bit more detail, to make the story come alive - but don't overdo it, it's got almost enough in it already.

Also, watch your tenses. We float from past to present tense a few times and that can be confusing. Decide whether you want to work in past tense (e. g., "said", "rode") or in present tense (e. g., "says", "rides"); either way is fine, just choose a tense and stick to it.
The plot and characterization is excellent and the language good - a few typos, as Shine pointed out - but this is a lovely story and I dearly hope you write the rest of it - I can't wait to see what Maggie's problem is and if Kaitlyn is going to get her horse!

Thanks for the story.

Mar 14, 2011
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Nice
by: Shine

I like it! You are a real good. Just watch your spelling. Like you use "their" when sometimes you have to use "there" or "they're". Just watch out but still its good. Keep going!

Mar 14, 2011
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WoW!!:O
by: Haley

Omigosh!!! your soo good at writing do you want to be an author one day? if you do I think you'd be great at it!!

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Summer Camp Mystery - Part 2

by Kaitlyn

I stand there stunned. I have two options... one to make a mad dash after her, or two to stand here thinking about it. I chose option one, and start running down the drive way. She can't be that far, I thought to myself. She just ran away 2 minutes ago...maybe that or I'm really out of shape. Pushing all thoughts out of my head, I focus on running after her.

It probably wasn't the most "responsible decision" as Mrs. Rocko would say. But at the time it seemed like a bright idea! I glance down at my watch 12:30, another lesson starts in 15 minutes. If I can find Maggie and get her back I could avoid getting yelled at by Mrs. Rocko. The sun it burning my shoulders, and my legs are on fire. It feels like Ive been running for hours. I cover my eyes with my hand, looking all over for Maggie. Nothing. Great im going to get killed by Mrs. Rocko. I continue running but I don't think I can run much longer. This is so not worth losing my job! Just before I was about to turn back, my foot hit a large branch stuck on the side of the road. Before I had time to react I was flying through the air screaming. Then the cold hard ground hit my body.

My eyes flutter open. At first I have no clue what happened. But as I push myself up, I quickly remember everything. "That's just like me" I said out loud looking at my muddy clothes. I guess I fell into some sort of creek,i thought taking a peek around. "Great", I shrieked starting to walk back to the road. Then suddenly I hear a quiet sob. I jump forward. What is that? I glance everywhere. More sobs. I start walking back into the creek area. I pull back a branch, and there she is. Sitting on a boulder. "Maggie,"I say softly. Her head shoots up. Her big eyes looking up at me, and then the unexpected.

"What...what are you doing here?" She screams getting up from the boulder.

"Uhh...ummm I just came after you. When you umm... left," I say not believing her. I don't understand, she's a great rider.

"I don't want you here!" she spat. "I ran away for a reason!" She added.

Oh great she left because of me, I thought worried. "You left because of... me?" I said.

"No, I left because I don't..." she suddenly got quiet. I was staring at her, waiting for an answer. But none came. I was getting anxious.

"Because of what? I said.

"Never mind," she snapped.

"Maggie, I need to know why! I know you have a reason. And I need you to tell me what it is?" I said trying no to yell.

"Okay, alright,..." There was a long pause and "I don't like riding, I don't like horses even!" she said quickly.

"What? I don't follow!" I said totally confused. She sat back down on the rock, as if knowing I would stay.

"I never wanted to ride. It was all my mom, she loved and still loves horses. She competed in the Olympics. And now she want me to do the same. But..." her voice started to slow down..."I don't want to ride. Never did!" she said.

"You don't want to ride at all? Like none at all?" I am clearly not understanding why people would not want to ride. I guess being horsecrazy all my life, I could not really understand any other way.

"NO! Tha'ts what I have been saying. How come nobody understands that?" she yells.

"Calm down! I have been teaching you for a while now, and you got skill. I guess I just can't understand why you wouldn't want to show people that." I say to her.

"I just...well actually I do love riding. Just not competitive. My mom wants me to compete. And she puts me in all the show that happen here. But I'm not like that! I just want to ride for pleasure. She never understands that" She says quietly, and I can see her eyes filling up with tears.

"Whats wrong with riding just for fun?" I laugh. " If you want to ride for pleasure then we can! Come on..." I say

"No, I'm never riding again! Nobody can make me!" She says again screaming.

"Not even for fun? What about if I take you on a trail?" I say hoping to convince her. Whats the use not I'm already late. Possibly even lost my job, and for what some runaway rider! I look back at Maggie. A smile spreads across her face.

"Just for fun! No jumping or anything. Just riding?" She says as if she can't believe it.

"Ya, but you would have to come now. I'm talking right now!" I say walking toward the road. She looks at me and takes a step forward.

"That's all I wanted to hear!" She smiles.

Back at the barn... finally. I feel like getting down on my hands and knees and kissing the floor. Which probably won't be such a great idea, because of the fact that its a barn. "So do u still want to ride Trixie?" I ask hopefully.

"I would like that!" she laughs. Tha'ts the first time all day I heard her laugh.

"Can I ask you why you didn't seem to happy to be riding her before?" I ask again

"Its because my mom says shes way below my skill level. But shes my favorite anyway!" she said.

"Ohhh I understand" I say grabbing the tack for Trixie. I start walking down the barn to get brushes. I opened the door and suddenly I hear the icy cold voice of an unhappy... very unhappy Mrs. Rocko.

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Apr 15, 2011
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Nice!
by: Angel

Awwww, I enjoyed this part! The girl you have used (maggi) sounds like this girl I know in real life!
Its really cool! Hahahha! Don't worry bout punctuation I'm terrible for it! And I'm like 14 and choosing my gcse options! ....Part 3 seems interesting!! <33 xx

Mar 28, 2011
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Yayaya
by: Kaitlyn

Thanks so much for commenting! Yes I need to work on my punctuation...I think it because I have so much ideas I just write them so quick its hard to think. Lol :) glad you enjoyed this story as much as the others...I'm writing part 3 very soon!

Thanks again

Mar 27, 2011
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WOW!
by: Morgyn

Great story!!!!!!!!! Your punctuation could be a tinsy bit better, other than that it's fabulous Darling (I got the Fabulous Darling off Strictly Come Dancing so I wanted to use it!) :):):):):):):):):):):):)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):):):):):):):)

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Summer Camp Mystery - Part 8

by Kaitlyn

"This is it," I say to Mia, "this is the last day of summer," I exclaim. I put my head back and enjoy the warm sun. Mia looks over to me, but she doesn't reply. I look out to the farm. We are sitting in the exact place we were two months ago when I was trying to lunge Slash. The memory makes me wince, but there is also a bright side to it.

If that never happened Mia and I would never have been friends. Despite our age difference, we have a lot in common. I wonder whats going to happen this year, I think to myself. But then I stop. No, I will not think about what could happen, I will just live in the moment. And right now that's exactly where I want to be.

We walk back silently. I branch off to the barn where Slash is kept, and Mia walks to hers. I sigh. Whats with the silence? Whats wrong with her. I chose to just ignore it, and focus on my lesson. "Hey Maggie, Carol!"I say cheerfully. They both look up but don't reply. Maggie gives me a sheepish look. "Ok, well... Maggie go get Trixie's tack, and Carol you are riding a new horse today! Isn't that a great way to end the summer?" I ask happily.

"Um sure," she says looking not at all excited. "What one?"

"Today your riding Fly," I tell her. "I will help you tack him up. But trust me..."I say catching Carol's terrified look... "he isn't anything to be scared of." Carol just nods.

I head over to Fly's stall and call Carol in. I see that she keeps looking over to his face as if hes going to bite her. "He isn't going to do anything Carol. He's really calm." I say.

"Uh huh," she says. Well... I thought... today is going to be an interesting lesson.

Taking in the scene it looked like a wonderful day to ride. Blue skies, green grass, friends to ride with. But when your in a ring with two strong-headed girls that are at wits end with each other, that may change a tiny bit.

"Get out of my way!" Maggie shrieked to Carol riding up behind her. Carol gave her a piercing look.

"No!"She screamed.

"Girls!"I screamed, "Stop it right now! Your going to scare the horses!" I added seeing Fly's confused expression. Maggie huffed and kicked Trixie past Fly. Fly being the chicken that he was sidestepped her and hit Trixie rear end.

"Control your horse!" Maggie screamed.

"Control yours!" Carol countered. Carol's eyes were fierce and her fiery red hair gave her eerie look.

"You know what! Kaitlyn, I'm getting off! I can't stand riding with people who don't know which end of a horse is which!" She yelled guiding Trixie toward the gate. I just sighed.

"Yes Maggie go ahead!" I said pointing toward the gate. Maggie stormed off and unlatched the gate quickly. I was just helping her get off Trixie when I heard Fly neigh. Then I heard thundering hoof beats run past me.

It took me a moment to realize what was happening. I looked out to the drive way and seen Carol barely staying on a very spooked horse. My insides twisted with fear. What was I going to do? How do I stop him? Sure I have had people fall off, and then there horses spooking, but not like this! "Fly! Whoa boy!" I screamed, which sadly never helped. I let go of Trixie's halter, and told Maggie to stay there.

"No! This is kind of my fault, I'm going," she said. I glared at her.

"You will not leave this arena! You will stay here, and dismount your horse and go get Dolly! Got it?" I snapped. Maggie never answered, she just kicked Trixie's sides and bolted off down the drive way toward Fly. Startled by it all I took off toward the barn.

"Mia! Alberta? Anyone here?" I yelled down the barn. I heard nothing in response.

I went and grabbed two lead lines and put them on Slash's halter. I had no time, I probably already lost them. I grabbed him mane and pulled myself up.

We took off down the driveway. When we reached the road, I slowed him to a trot. Cement isn't good for a horses feet. And I couldn't risk Slash. Up ahead I could see Trixie gaining speed on Fly.

"Go, go!" I heard her scream. I was scared out of my mind about how bad this looks. But I just had to keep going.

Maggie raced up beside Fly and reached over to Carol. "Grab on!" I heard her say. Carol looking uncertain. But seconds later I seen her grab Maggie's hand and sat safely on Trixie's back.

Fly continued on, but at the moment I didn't care. I pulled Slash up and just barely heard the girls conversation. "You okay?" Maggie asked quickly.

"I'm fine," Carol said clearly annoyed. Maggie sensing Carol's annoyance smirked.

"You're welcome," she spat. And before Carol had a chance to respond Maggie kicked Trixie up to a canter, and her hoof beats drowned out everything else. Carol glared. Maggie smiled. I think this was the beginning to a beautiful friendship.

The day came to an end and I found myself being caught up in a big wave of hugs and chatter. All the students I worked with over the past 2 months seemed to be there. After we all said goodbye, I walked out of the barn. The air was getting cooler, and despite the fact that it was only 8 the sun seemed to be going down. Another sign that summer is over, I thought.

I see Mia getting into her car. She gave me a quick nod and sped off, leaving nothing but a trail of dust. I took in the last breath of what I thought was summer and got into my mother's truck.

As we drove off I watched the horses playing in the fields. Some were running around, others simply just eating. But the only thing I was thinking about as we drove off away from the barn was that they all would be there tomorrow. I smiled and let my head rest against my seat. All was well.

********
That's it. The end of Summer Camp Mystery- I know its a lot late, and I intend to start on Dreamer and my other stories again to! There is going to be another series though its going to be called- Carol's Summer- Hope you enjoyed!;]

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Jun 09, 2011
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Bravo!!!
by: Morgyn

Hey Kaitlyn! Great way to end Summer Camp Mystery!!! I can't wait to Carol's Summer!!!

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Summer Camp Mystery - Part 3

by Kaitlyn

I immediately froze. I shut my eyes...as tight as I could. Maybe she's not talking to me, I thought to myself. No, she's probably just talking to some other lesson instructor. I wish I could convince myself to believe that. I knew what I had to do. I tensed and slowly, carefully turned around. What stood before me made me wince. Mrs. Rocko had her hands on her hips and her mouth was in a straight line. "Oh no," I mumbled. This can't be good, not at all.

"Kaitlyn, in my office now!" Mrs. Rocko said in a voice even I knew was too calm. I put my head down and followed her. Just as I was walking out of the barn I saw the expression on Maggie's face. Her eyes were wide, and her face was red. You better be scared I thought to myself, this is all her fault anyways.

I shifted from side to side as Mrs. Rocko sat down. Feeling a tiny bit brave I looked up and meet her eyes. They were fierce, all stone. I had no idea what was going to happen. I couldn't read her at all!

"Sit!" she ordered. I bit my lip, but I took a seat in the brown leather chair. "I'm sure you know why you're here, am I right?" she questioned. Obviously, I said to myself.

"Yes, I do," I said in a voice that surprised me. Mrs.Rocko lifted her eyebrow.

"Good. Then you must realize I warned you just yesterday about what would happen if you missed yet another lesson!" She said raising her voice. "I do not tolerate any slack from my employes! And you Kaitlyn have given me just that!" She finished. I knew I was shrinking, at any moment Mrs.Rocko could take her boot and stomp me. I could no nothing about it though.

"Kaitlyn, I would like you to tell me what should happen here." She said. What?!? She must have read the expression on my face because she added "For reasons I can't explain."
"Well... I'm not sure," I said "I do understand I have been warned many times. But Maggie ran away, I can't just let her leave!" I explained.

"She ran away? What? I never heard!" Mrs. Rocko shrieked.

"That's why I left. I got her to come back though. She's fine. We were going to go riding," I added.

"Were you now?" I could tell that she wasn't actually asking. "Yes," I said meekly.I seen her gaze shift to something outside. Then suddenly her whole face lit up. "Brilliant! I know exactly what you are going to do. That is if you wish to keep you job?" She said.

"Of course I want to! Anything! What is it?!" I almost screamed. Her eyes turned dark and icy. Uh-oh she has that mysterious look in her eye again. I knew something big was about to happen. But what?

"You will see," she said and she got up and left the room.

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Apr 15, 2011
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:P
by: Angel

Hey, Kaitlyn << Not Sure if that's your name but oh well! Ermmm yeah once again this it a great story I'm loving the way it builds up each time!!
Although try describing the characters a bit more so the reader's can picture what they look like, and same with the horses like their Age, Breed Color Etc. I'm not being mean but im Just Suggesting Ways You could of improved it! I Hope you can give a few ideas or comments on my story hun!


But other than those errors I'm LOVING it!! Lol! :P xx

Apr 12, 2011
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Brilliant!
by: Shine

Kaitlyn... Your story is BRILLIANT! I love it!!!

Apr 09, 2011
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Hey guys!
by: Kaitlyn

Thanks What They Call Me! I'm glad you think I should publish these stories! And I am going to write part 4 soon...the only reason why I have not wrote it yet is because I like to wait and see what people think of them first! And I luv your stories, and I will look at your stories Morgyn!

Horsecrazily yours...

Apr 08, 2011
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Kaitlyn
by: Morgyn

Hi Kaitlyn!!!! Your are very welcome!!!! I REALLY can't wait to read Part 4!!!!! And I hope you will check out Free Hearts Book 3: Chapter 2!

Apr 08, 2011
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Hey Amy!
by: Kaitlyn

*EVERYONE BTW MY NAMES KAITLYN BUT ON THIS SITE I ALSO GO BY KAITLYN AKA HORSERIDER*

Hey Amy,

Detail...detail...detail. The sky was a dark majestic blue, not one drop of rain hit the forest floor but yet all the little tiny critters were not happy.

That's detail... That I think I am using in a story. AND BTW I will describe the horses way better in the next story. BIG THINGS HAPPENING FOR KAITLYN! Its going to be epic.

Also check out my other stories. "Dreamer-The one and only" as well as "Nothing short of a Cowgirl and The wild horse!"

Apr 07, 2011
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POIJHOUIBVSU
by: What they call me

OMG you r such a great writer! You should publish it once you are done! Please write part 4, and 5, and 6, and 7!

(I am the writer of little black and the big roan)
So you know me a little better.

Apr 05, 2011
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Hey Morgyn!
by: Kaitlyn

I'm really glad you like my stories! I really enjoy writing them and making Kaitlyn and Maggie come alive! And yes for sure I'm writing part 4! I already have my mind set on an idea! I can't wait to see if you guys enjoy it as much as you enjoyed the first 3 parts.

Also Its always been a dream of mine to write a small series of horse books! I wish I could:)

Oh and also check out my other stories *Dreamer -The One and Only(both parts) and *Nothing Short of a Cowgirl* I just wrote Nothing Short Of a cowgirl part 2 today! Enjoy

Apr 05, 2011
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AWESOME!!!!!
by: Morgyn

AWESOME part 3!!!!!! Are you writing a part 4???? You know what else you could do? You could write books, like after you finish Summer Camp Mystery, you could pick a name for a series and write a couple of short books!

E.g. Pony Paddock Point - Book 1: The New Girl

I HOPE you will write more!!!! I LOVE your stories!!!!!!!!! :):):):):):):):):):)

Apr 06, 2011
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Great!
by: Amy

It was good! Your descriptions were good, but you said Maggie's face was red. Try describing more, like,

"Maggie's face was red, her eyes were scared, and her whole body was tense."

Just a suggestion, but try it! Other than this, great, and try to describe the horses colors, and patterns, and personalities as well.

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