This story is interesting because of its different perspective. I agree with Unicorn.
Please read and comment on my story, Dream Delilah.
Very good job!
Mar 19, 2011 Rating
MINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by: Peanut
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY MINT AT WRITING STORIES. PLZZZZZZ WRITE MORE.
Mar 18, 2011 Rating
Thanks! by: Rayna
Thank you everyone for the wonderful tips! They will help me a lot with part 2! I want to be an author when I 'm older, so this is fun for me :)
Mar 17, 2011 Rating
Wheeennnn are you writing more? by: Kaitlyn aka Horserider
I really HOPE you write more soon... I want to find out what happens!
Mar 17, 2011 Rating
Your story by: Unicorn
Hi Rayna
Like Horserider said, this story's charm lies in the difference of its perspective. I've read some of your other stories - you write quite a lot, right? - and I must commend you for going in a different direction a little. It takes more guts than many people realize to do something different, especially as a writer.
I love the character of Alex. Well, right now, as a reader, I detest her but am curious to see what will happen next, which is perfect for the story. As a writer, I love her. She has plenty of room for growth and development; she can change and become a better person in so many ways, which is what the story is all about. A perfect main character has nowhere to go and the story has nowhere to go either, which makes it dull. Alex makes the story interesting; she's a little stuck-up, but doesn't like being snubbed - which helps the reader to identify with her. She's a little lazy - but aren't we all, when we have to do a job we don't want to? Alex is a masterpiece, but not as great a masterpiece as her indomitable, grouchy boss, who helps to bring Alex and the reader together - we both hate the boss.
A suggestion: Could you show us some more of the stable? But show it through Alex's eyes. This will help develop her character even further. She mustn't see it as an American-style stable with loose boxes opening to an aisle and a tack room on the end (just for example). To her uneducated eyes it's probably just a big barn with a passage down the middle and stalls on each side. And she won't know if the horses are pedigreed beauties, or middle-rate riding school plodders. They'll just be big, gross, scary, or small, whiskery, and gross. Just a suggestion.
Please write more soon!
Mar 16, 2011 Rating
Awesome! by: ranchgirl
I love this story and I want you to write more. But, soon. I can't believe a girl would hate horses. I don't mind pick up horse's dung.
P.S. PPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE write more soon!!!
Mar 15, 2011 Rating
Nice! by: Shine
I really like this! You make this story interesting. Keep it going! Part 2.
Mar 15, 2011 Rating
I like this story by: Horserider
This is a really great story. It goes from a different perspective than most of the stories on this site. Most people (including me) write about horsecrazygirls lives... but this story is different. It talks about someone who could care less about horses! I cant wait for part 2!!!
