Never Give Up
Tears streamed down my warm red face; my quiet tears quickly melt into body shaking sobs. Once I feel that I have no more tears left to cry, I flop down on my pillow and stare up at my bedroom ceiling.
I sniffle and pull my favorite stuffed horse, Brownie, closer to my chest. I know it's babyish for a thirteen-year-old girl like me to still have stuffed animals, but Brownie is special to me, I got him when I was just a baby.
I sigh and tuck a strand of my long curly brown hair behind my ear. I rub my blotchy face, not even wanting to imagine how terrible I must look right now, my usually tan face red and swollen, my deep blue eyes are probably bloodshot. Look, I am not a crybaby or anything, but I couldn't hold back my tears this time.
And let's be honest here, I'm sure you've cried when no one was around to see it. I turn over on my side to admire all fifteen of my Breyer's prancing regally across my shelf. I admire Secretariat's muscular form and rippling mane, and Adiah's pinto coat. I love each and every one of Breyer's, even though my sisters make fun of me because they think Breyer's are toys. They are not toys to me, or any other horse girl on planet Earth.
They are beautiful copies of the most gorgeous and powerful animal: The horse. Since before I can remember I've always loved horses. There's something special about them, and it's not their rippling muscles or flowing mane and tail. It's their eyes. The horse's eyes are so full of emotion and expression, that's one of the things that make these animals so special to me. But I can't help but feel a stab of pain when I think about horses. I've always wanted to have a horse of my own. But right now, I can't even take riding lessons.
We live in the city.
My family can't afford riding lessons for me, much less a horse.
All I want in my life is to be near horses. I don't even have to ride; I just want to be near the incredible animal. But I can't. That's why I was crying. I sit up on my bed and go to the bathroom to wash my face. When I'm finished, I go back to my room and flop onto my bed.
I glance at my digital clock and see the numbers 5:01 PM glowing neon green. I guess it's almost time for dinner. I brush my hair before pulling it into a sloppy braid and pound up the stairs to the kitchen. Yes, I said UP the stairs.
My room is in the basement. When my grandma moved in, she needed a room to live in. I offered my own room to her and moved downstairs. No, I don't mind living in a basement, in case you were wondering. I mean, no one's ever down there, and a teenage girl enjoys her privacy.
Still, I'm not a hermit, and I do get a little lonely sometimes. At least I have my Breyer's keep my company, and Brownie. I won't give up on my horse dreams though, not now, not ever. I will work in the summer (It's winter now) and save up enough money for riding lessons; Because nothing is ever handed to you, if you want something, you have to work for it. I will ride, one day.
The reason I wrote this was because often times I feel defeated, or even crushed when I see other girls with horses of their own, or even kids that are lucky enough to have riding lessons on a school horse. If you take lessons or own a horse, you are unbelievably blessed with the wonderful chance to be near horses. If you're like me though, and can't ride or be near horses, don't give up on your dreams. There was a time in my life where I was going to give up on horses and move on. But I couldn't. I love them too much, and you're reading this, you probably do as well.
This is more of an encouragement than a story, but I felt led to write this all the same. Don't give up, if you want something bad enough, you'll get it. It may take time, work, and tears, but you will achieve your dreams. I not going to give on my dream of being with horses, and you shouldn't either.