Comments for Azriel's Promise - Part 1

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Jun 10, 2012

WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jun 09, 2012
you are very talented
by: ali

i love your stories and i always read them when i see them!!!!!!!!!

Jun 08, 2012
Hi Kelsei
by: Unicorn

Wow, you are one creative girl! You have a new part out pretty much each day! That's excellent. In the end, you learn to write by writing, and you write better by writing. It's one of my weakest points - productivity - a 1000-word day is a good one for me.
I like this story: I love Uncle Caleb's accent and there's something fascinating about Colton. I can't wait to see what happens at the Wild Horse Auction. Two suggestions: Firstly, try to avoid the waking-up opening, it's a bit of a cliche and not entirely necessary, although the stewardess telling the girl she's in Colorado did nicely introduce the setting, and secondly, though the car crash flashbacks and the main character's thoughts and feelings about it were well done, I'm missing some emotion on the new arrangements. What does she think of Uncle Caleb? Of horses? Of mustangs (I couldn't gauge if her shriek was of terror or excitement)? If she's meant to be neutral, of course, that's a different story. Get other opinions on this before you change it, though - I personally would like more emotion but I am one of those people who love tearjerkers (like Moonstone's Pride *sniff*) so I could very easily be wrong (I always can).
All in all, a great start to what promises to be another great story. Keep going, Kelsei! You are super talented!


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