by Carrigan
(Canada)
Okay, this is the plot for a story I want to write, please tell me what you think.
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Brooke Nelson has always been a star rider on her pony, Carmel until a bad fall ends up scaring Carmel and Brooke.
Carmel must be put down for bad wounds that could not be fixed. Brooke decides to give up riding until she finds a lifeless stable on a trail with a gentle giant inside.
The horse, Sage, might be Brooke's last chance to become a rider.
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by Carrigan
(Canada)
This is the book, written from the plot. Please say how you like it!
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Brooke could not wait for her 13th birthday in 2 weeks it was all going to be perfect.......
It was a cold, cloudy Saturday morning at Glen Lard Stables, which usually meant a weekly lesson with Ms. Nickel for Brooke Nelson on her lovely palomino quarter horse Carmel.
Brooke nudged Carmel into a canter, the wind on her back and her blonde braid flapping from shoulder to shoulder. Brooke grabbed some of Carmel's golden and mane as the pair leaped into the air and soar over a large oxer. Carmel's hooves landed softly on the arena turf as the arena lights shone brightly, Brooke flopped back down in her leather saddle and slowed Carmel into a slow trot and patted the mare's over-sized shoulder.
"Good girl Carmel!" Brooke cheered as Ms. Nickel shot two thumbs up to Brooke and Carmel.
"Amazing course, almost show ready, your going to be Glen Lard's biggest super star! I would say?!" Ms. Nickel winked and kicked some turf with the toe of her black cowboy boot. Brooke smiled, Ms. Nickel was the hardest coach to please.
Once Brooke's mind though about Ms. Nickel's words, "Glen Lard's biggest super star", her mind raced. She had so many people to impress one was her dad. Mr. Nelson a huge rider in his day. Courses, landing, gates and perfection all floated in her mind... She and Carmel COULD be the biggest stars.
"Do you think Carmel and I could go on a trail ride?" Brooke asked Ms. Nickel as Brooke watched the dark, tall maple trees that lined a smooth, long dirt trail that passed creeks and valleys of Glen Lard.
"Why not?" Ms. Nickel replied being stunned with her student's perfect riding today...
That ride would be the biggest mistake of Brooke's life.
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by Carrigan
(Canada)
Thanks for all the great comments, I know I have posted some other versions but I like this the best. I worked hard on this so please comment, Go HCG! - Carrigan Author of Sage & Misty
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The golden sun-colored mare bounced and galloped over to Brooke, as Brooke Nelson, the mares 12 year old owner hopped over the fence and landed on her black paddock boots. Carmel Brooke's Quarter horse greeted her with a loud neigh as she nudged Brooke's shoulder.
"Oh Carmel!" Brooke laughed rubbing Carmel's star on her over sized mare's head. "Daddy says I can take you on the new trails today? Won't that be great girl!" Brooke said grabbing a handful of grass and letting Carmel fed off her gloves.
Carmel neighed as if she was answering Brooke,
"I think he is caving in on letting me ride western like all the other girls too. Won't that be great Carmie?" Brooke babbled about throwing the old lasso she had found in the hay loft, without putting a halter on Carmel.
Brooke led Carmel out of the field the small mare trailing behind her back as Brooke said some words having to do with all these different kinds of western riding they had to try.
Brooke flopped the old helmet on her head, put her left foot in the stirrup and lifted herself into the leather saddle with her name engraved on the back. She picked up her rainbow reins and sat straight up looking over the Carmel's palomino ears.
"Giddy up Carmel!" Brooke laughed kicking the mare into a fast jog as if they were riding in the World Equestrian Games Reining event. They entered a trail that had tall trees, fallen branches, creeks and a dirt path trail lined by big rocks. Brooke wondered why she never came on trail's more often they were so relaxing and the shows always got so stressful. Carmel neighed at a chipmunk climbing up a tree.
"You're such a scaredy-cat Carmel." Brooke playfully mocked to her mare as she rubbed Carmel's poll. The tree's became larger and darker and covered up the setting sun to make the trails dark, foggy and cold.
"We should head back Carmel, Dad told me not to travel at night." Brooke shivered trying to wrap her light jacket tightly around. As if it were a movie, a crow cooed up from a tree, Carmel started to get hot on her feet and prance a little, stick her head up high and flap her tail.
"It's OK Carmel." Brooke lied to herself. The wind got stronger. A rustle of tree's came ahead, "Woah!" Brooke yelled at her lunges which spooked Carmel making her rush.
Brooke's vision became blurred until a tree fell right in front of them, Carmel crashed into it and Brooke fell off Carmel's neck and they both blacked out.
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by Carrigan
(Canada)
So thanks for the great comments and I am writing now! I am also working on a book called Misty so check that out too!
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The cloud was musty with light clouds as Brooke Nelson slipped the leather halter around her Quarter Horse mare Carmel's big golden head.
"Look what I got for an after treat," Brooke giggled as she shook the bag of stud muffins, Carmel nudged Brooke's shoulder.
"Wow their girl, I said after this amazing day. Now come along!" Brooke mimicked a cowboy and tugged a little to get Carmel jogging by Brooke's side. Carmel huffed as she trotted along to the stables.
"Should we go on a trail ride girl?" Brooke asked flipping her blonde wave back as she pushed her old navy helmet on her head and clicked the buckle. Carmel shook her head raised her lip and neighed to that idea, probably just a little over excited about the stud muffins.
"Sounds like a plan then Carmel-baby!" Brooke said picking up her brand new lasso she got for her 12th birthday and swirling it around the pile of blue ribbons she earned at horse shows.
"YE-HAW!" A loud yell came from Brooke as she got the lasso around the pile and she did a little dance and tipped her helmet. Carmel stood like a mare.
"Oh sorry girl you know how I get a little carried away, come on." Brooke grabbed the mare's leather reins and led the pretty palomino mare out onto a dark gloomy trail.
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by Carrigan
(Canada)
This is Part 2, from Part 1. I posted part 1 not sure where it is! It is the 3rd part one because I re-wrote! Sorta can go will all parts! Thanks comment for part 3!
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Mumbles of words, the sound of a IV rushing to her veins, filled the thoughts through Brooke's head, but her eyes would not awake quite yet. Brooke tried to sit up, but the pain of her back kept her down.
Brooke's lips would not open or would any sound come out. She could not move a single part of her body but her ears listened to the sounds. One was her mother and father arguing about something, another a doctor.
"What will she think? What are we going to do Ted!" Think about what? Brooke thought to herself.
"Does it matter now?! There is no other way. We can't be cruel, just for our daughter's happiness, that is cruel Linda."
"So now what? Just wait for her to wake."
Brooke finally felt something, a cast wrapped around her arm and leg. But why did she have a cast and why was their a doctor and why was she laying down not able to move? But the most important question, why couldn't Brooke remember anything. Was she in a coma?
"That's exactly what we do Linda, what else is there to do?"
Brooke felt her eyes open and she saw her parents at her bedside and a doctor at the door writing on a notepad, she was in the hospital, she saw the IV attached to her and she felt cold shivers up her spine.
NEEDLE! A sudden beeping noise got louder, her heart beat, she looked at the cast that covered both her legs and her left arm.
"Oh Brooke you're awake!" Linda wrapped her arms around her daughters head and kissed Brooke's cheek.
"What will I think about, mom?" Brooke found her voice and spoke, her mother and father went pale they both looked at each other then Brooke's father spoke.
"I'm so sorry Brooke, I already called the vet. Carmel will have to be put down."
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by Carrigan
(Canada)
Comment for part 4!
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"What no!" Brooke felt her self tear up, then rage filled her blood. "Daddy no, I need to see her."
"Honey, you can't see her for four days, she will be put down in 5, even that's too much for her." Ted held Brooke in his arms and pushed her blonde mop out of her face, "I'm sorry this happened to you."
"But. But!" Brooke did not know what to say, she was stuck like this. "I love her."
"I know you love her Brookie," Brooke hatted when her mom called her Brookie.
"Her bones are broken, she can't move, she has to be fed through a tube. We don't know what happened to you but Carmel was crushed by a log, she only has a couple of days or at the most a week left in her." Linda stroked Brooke's cast. Brooke let out cold tears that ran down her cheeks. Nothing mattered anymore, not even riding.
After four long days of being trapped in the hospital Brooke was able to go see Carmel, her mom had to wheel Brooke around that was even more insane then anything that had happened all week. When Brooke finally wheeled up to the stables cold memories flashed through her brain, that were all to painful to think about that Carmel would be put down tomorrow.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ted asked.
"I need to see her dad, I did this to her."
"Oh Brookie! It is not your fault! Don't get to hard on your self!"
When the Nelson family finally reached Carmel's stall the sight wasn't pretty, the used to be Sun-colored mare, was now dusty and covered in mud with a big dent from the log across Carmel stomach, a tube through her nose that ran with food and blood, Carmel laid down looking lifeless.
"I'm sorry this happened Carmel. You didn't deserve this." Brooke reached to touch the face of her beautiful mare and when she looked at her hand it was covered in Carmel's hair. More tears ran down her face.
This was not what ever was supposed to happen, Ted hugged Brooke but she pushed him away and just looked at Carmel, it was all to painful, she remember everything even up to when she first saw Carmel. But she could not remember that trail ride.
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by Carrigan
(Canada)
Please comment, and read part 1,2, and 3!
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The grass, rolling from each other growing in heights as the hills disappeared into the sunset, but Brooke didn't care. Brooke looked over at her vanity mirror, the used to be happy Brooke with her hands wrapped around Carmel looked back with a large and pure white smile.
Today was the day, today was the day that would all end. Nothing would matter anymore. Tears, filled Brooke's red, hot cheeks and fell down her face like a down pour on a cold April day. Brooke looked back at the vanity but Brooke starred back this time not Carmel and the old Brooke.
Brooke tried to kick her leg at the wall, make the gods hear the thunder of her powerful leg. But it would not move it was attached to the wheelchair. Brooke tried to let out her loudest scream but tears and whimpers still fell from her face. Anyways, it would wake the house.
"Are you OK Brooke?" Ted stood in the doorway wrapped in his grey rope, his dark hair all tussled and messy. Brooke shook her head. Which was a total lie.
"Oh my baby!" Linda called pushing Ted out of the way and kneeling beside Brooke on the floor.
"Mom!" Brooke pushed Linda away and looked out her window, that boarded their neighbors acreage.
Later that afternoon the Nelson's got the 'call' that Carmel had been put down FOR GOOD.
"Brookie I'm so sorry, name the horse you want to ride we'll buy it!" Linda said as she put the plate of hot pancakes in front of Brooke.
"I hate it when you call me Brookie and I am never ever riding again!" Brooke tried to stand up and storm up but the hot pain of a broken leg and arm kept her glued to the chair like a hostage.
"EEERRRRRRR!" Brooke screamed.
"Honey I'm so sorry."
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by Carrigan
(Canada)
It seemed forever since Brooke had been anywhere near the stable, when ever the school bus drove past the connecting road to the stable, Brooke looked away in pain.
"Come on Brooke you'll have to go back sometime, you loved it there." Linda rolled her eyes as she placed the box labeled, 'Garage Sale' that had been filled with Brooke's riding clothes.
"I'm never going back mother, I still see Carmel in my dreams." Brooke frowned as she hobbled across to her mom.
"Well, Mrs. Gander promised to take you on a last ride on that pony you loved, hum. Sugar?" Just thinking about Sugar, the sweet pony that shared a paddock with Carmel made Brooke tear up." Linda scowled trying to tidy up the messy room.
"I already went on my last ride and looked what happened!" Brooke screamed, blood pumping waving the hand wrap in front of her moms face.
"How about just a tribute. To Carmel, she wouldn't want you to remember the accident as your last ride on horse back." Brooke highly doubted her dead horse would think that, but she knew her mom would force her to go on the ride one way or another, probably to end up buying Sugar so Brooke would stop screaming in the middle of the night and breaking all the mirrors in the house.
"Fine." Brooke barked grabbing a pair of breeches from her box.
"So I think you know how to tack old' Sugar up here. Then be on your way, I would love to take you out on a ride but I'm just so busy in the office right now." Mrs. Gander patted the Appaloosa's rump and trotted out the paddock, Brooke eyed Sugar, the brown appy, with cool blue eyes, almost like a POA.
"Well then," Brooke said trotting Sugar onto a trail she hardly knew, she just needed to get away from the chaos of the stable. Being on Sugar made Brooke forget how much she hated riding, it made her feel free on top of the world like she did on Carmel. Brooke felt light as she bounced in the saddle in Sugar's smooth rocky canter until she found her self on a dirt trail way far away from the stable, there was a road to her right and corn fields to her left.
Brooke knew this road, it was the one to the stable, the back route Brooke loved to take cause she got to see this pretty black stable that no one lived in, this was Brooke's chance to go look inside, Brooke trotted until she found the black stable standing tall. It did look a lot different so close up, it wasn't pretty at all, the shingles falling off one by one, moss growing up the side, painted chipped.
Brooke looked horrified. She heard a noise, a neighing, loud. But it wasn't Sugar. Brooke opened the black door that had been closed shut. She looked inside and there was an aisle with box stalls, the stalls chipped and broken and eaten off by. Hay everywhere, along with dirt. It smelled like her old Grandfather at his funeral.
Brooke looked inside a stall and saw a dead quarter horse, she screamed, as she lead Sugar on farther until she came to the last stall, there was a chestnut TB's big head sticking out, his ears pinned back, his brown eyes glowing, his feet stomping at the ground begging for food. Brooke tossed some of the hay in and the chestnut quickly ate it all up like he hadn't ate in ages. Brooke looked at his body, bones sticking out, cuts and scraps. His legs covered in blood. Brooke was pale her jaw dropped. He hadn't ate in ages, the pretty stable Brooke used to wish was her's was, an abonded stable. As she cleared some dirt from the chestnut's stall she saw gold letters saying...
"SAGE".