The Wild Stallion - Part 1

by Danielle
(Texas)

The black horse

The black horse

My tiny horse hooves thudded against the ground as I joyfully played with a little grulla filly. I nipped the filly's hindquarters, whinnying in delight. The filly kicked at me, giving a nice scratch on the face, but I kept playing. My playing shortly turned into harassment. I did not know I was harassing the little filly. She had enough of it, so she knocked me off my feet, and pounded on me with her little baby hooves. I finally got the hint.

I stood up and looked around. I saw 2 mares, a golden dun and a black pinto. I also saw my father, a bright bay stallion. I trotted over to him, and nickered. He turned his head, and ran his soft muzzle down my back.

I stood there, enjoying the warm, April sun. I left my father and walked around, my dark bay coat glistening in the sunlight. I nibbled at the sweet grass, and nosed at dandelions. I lifted my head up and looked around, my small eyes darting back and forth. I was bored. Very bored. What could I do? The little filly was nowhere to be seen, and I was the only foal in my small herd.

Since I had no horse to play with, I decided to explore the meadow. I trotted over to a group of fir trees, and nibbled at their leaves. While I was pawing at the tree bark, and biting at the leaves, I heard a twig snap. I spun around, whinnying in fright. I saw nothing. Where did that noise come from?

I heard a twig snap again, and I did a half-rear, and spun around again. This time, I saw something. It was a horse. It wasn't my father. It was a black horse, with a big black saddle on his back, and a black bridle on his head. He carried a person, a man. The horse raced toward me, and the man lifted his rope. I whinnied in fear and headed for the middle of the meadow, where my herd was. I was almost to my herd when a snake-like thing coiled itself around my neck, holding me fast.

I whinnied and neighed for my father, who was only 100 yards away. He heard my frightened screams, and dashed after me. He reared up, and kicked with all his might at the man and the horse. He half-reared and kicked again, this time barely missing the horse's cheekbone. He snorted and kicked again, this time failing miserably. The man let me go, but the rope curled around my father's neck. My father whinnied angrily, and tried to get away, but he rope held him fast. As the black horse and the man lead my father away, I stared. Just stared. My eyes filled with tears. I knew I would never see my father again.

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Jan 23, 2013
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good
by: reina

The story is good, but you need to have slow down on some parts. Like you could have made them more suspenseful. When you said "2 mares" it should be written as "two mares" because this is a book. Otherwise, everything is good.

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