Into the Storm - Should I Write More?

by sam b
(Nashville TN USA)

i could hear the wind whistling in the barn. the pounding of the rain on the tin roof frightened me then hail the size of ping-pong balls bounced off the roof of the barn.
the horses were all on edge. all of the horse seemed to be calling one another, making sure they were okay. it was so loud from the horses and the rain i couldn't think.
just then my dad rushed in yelling "what the heck are you doing in here in this rain get in the house,now!".
i did as i was told he gave me a guilt trip all the way to the house. this is what i heard"you should tell us... blah...blah...blah...blah...blach...okay!". i bobbed my head up and down.i didn't even know what what he said.
i went up stairs got undressed and took a quick shower.
i looked in the mirror in my at my dirty blond hair, mildly freckled face, brown eyes, and pale lip color.i hopped in bed with blue jean patched comforter and fell asleep.
i woke up to a sharp whinny i knew was my horse.what was happening!?

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Jun 11, 2010
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yes, please do!
by: Sydney

It's a great start! If you do write more be sure to use the comments link below so we can follow the whole story. And don't take this wrong, but punctuation and capitals would help make it a bit easier to read. :-) I think you're a good writer!

Jun 12, 2010
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very good
by: Anonymous

this story was VERY good. I hope you keep on writing. Maybe someday you can be an author!!

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