Cassy - Part 1

by Eva
(Canada)

Intro: Eyes watched the helpless girl as she fell off her horse. "Cassy!!!!" screamed the girl as she tumbled off, making a perfect target for the hungry wolf. He licked his chops waiting for the right moment.
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When 13-year-old Melanie Roberts woke up that early spring morning, she had no idea that her life would be changed forever that afternoon. As she looked out the window to the rolling hills of her families farm in Vermont. Grinning, she watched her mare, Cassy, frolic with the other horses her family kept.

As she laid back in bed she remembered, three years ago, when her dad brought home a little Morgan filly. She still remembered his words. "This is a foal that can grow up with you." In the three years that followed, Cassy had grown up and Melanie and Lucy (her best friend, next to Cassy) rode together on long rides. Lucy had her own horse too called Sun Dancer.

What was that? Her mom was calling her to breakfast.

As she bounded down the stairs, she thought of the things she had planned for her and Cassy to do today.

"Morning, Melanie," her mom greeted her. "Breakfast will be ready in a minute. I know you have a lot of things planned today."

"Sure mom, Lucy and Sun Dancer and Cassy and I are going to go on a picnic lunch this afternoon."

"Sounds like fun," remarked her dad coming into the kitchen just then.

"Mom, could we have some of your bread to make sandwiches? Lucy and I have everything else we need."

"Sure," answered her mom, smiling.

"I just want to warn you about one thing, cautioned her dad, don't go near the old bridle path."


"But why dad????" "That's where we always go!"

"Because several rabid wolves have been seen around the area."

"Okay, dad, Lucy and I will make other plans."
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Comment to get another part of the story. Hope you like it. I also am writing the Starlight saga.

Comments for Cassy - Part 1

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Feb 26, 2011
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Real good!
by: Shine

Loved intro, loved the names, loved everything! Keep going Eva! If you could, check my story" Blossom" please. Anyways, REAL GOOD!

Feb 02, 2011
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cassy
by: Aysha

hey Eva,
I really, really like your story about Cassy. When I read your intro it sent shivers down my spine. Does Cassy get away from the wolf? I really hope she does.

Feb 02, 2011
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Wow!
by: Faith

I can't wait to find out what happens next!!!

Feb 01, 2011
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wow
by: madeline

wow this is really good!

Feb 01, 2011
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It's great
by: Pony

The story is great! I have just a few tips for you for your future stories, if you leave your story on a cliff hanger, (I.E "She tumbled to the ground and watched helplessly as the creature leaped onto her beloved horse. There was nothing she could do now but watch.") And maybe a little bit more detail would work too.

Another thing would be to add some adjectives,and adverbs. So like instead of saying, "As she laid back in bed" You could say,"As she laid back in her soft comfortable bed " I'm just saying. I bet if you add a little more detail and descriptive language, your story could become a big hit. Also if you make them a tad bit longer.

Anyways, keep writing, and post part 2!

Jan 30, 2011
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Good!
by: Anonymous

I like it so far! But maybe instead of saying "eyes watched" try describing the eyes more. I know it sounds funny but try it:

were they the wolf's eyes? "hungry eyes watched as she fell off"

were they her friend's eyes? "frightened eyes watched as she fell off"

Still love it though!

Jan 29, 2011
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SO NICE
by: Regan

That was so COOL!!! Keep on writing i want to hear what happens!

Jan 28, 2011
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Wow!!!
by: Sarah

Another good story. Keep it up!!!

Feb 09, 2011
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WOW!
by: HORSEYKINDAGIRL

Your story is amazing!! please write more... does she follow her dads rules and stay away from the bridle path??

Jan 29, 2011
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Great
by: Horserider

That was a very good story. I hope u write more:)

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