Comments for Azriel's Promise - Part 2

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Jun 13, 2012
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loving it
by: Anonymous

you are very talented!!! Please continue and post your stories really soon, PLEASE! i CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART!

Jun 11, 2012
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:)
by: TheRider

Keep it up girl!!!!!!!!!!!

Jun 11, 2012
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Hi Kelsei
by: Unicorn

I posted a comment on Part 1 but it doesn't look like it came through - so sorry about that! I did read it and liked it, though.
This story has a lot of potential. The flashback (in Part 1) was handled a lot better than in "Moonstone's Pride", well done. I'm enjoying Uncle Caleb, especially his accent (more noticeable in Part 1, though) and the dynamics between Aiden, Colton and the main character are interesting. I feel a little disconnected here, though. If she is simply being numb and indifferent from the shock and grief of her parents' death, you've nailed it. But if she feels stronger about Colton or her new situation or the horses, I'm not getting it. She is obviously unhappy about the buckskin being trapped and I like that she picked him instead of anyone else (I especially liked the mention of her mom's horse), but how does she feel about getting a horse in general? How does she feel about living with Uncle Caleb? How does she feel about leaving her best friend behind? Don't worry, though - one of "Moonstone's Pride"'s strongest points was it's emotion, so I know you *can* write emotion. Just pay a little more attention here.
All in all, superb. You're a very, very talented writer and your stories are really strong. I'm enjoying them immensely. Please write on!

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